


Not His Fault

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [66]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Sickfic, Texting, this time with angst!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8131516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: johnn: WHY ARE YOU YELLINGlaf: ALEX WONT COME OUT OF THE BATHROOMlittle lion: I DONT WANT TO laf: alex this isn't your faultlittle lion: it is and I'm sorry





	

**Author's Note:**

> !!!WARNING!!! someone pointed out to me that ignoring someone could be abusive so just a warning that it could be triggering to some people
> 
> !!stay safe!!

**johnn** : WHY ARE YOU YELLING

**laf** : ALEX WONT COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM

**little lion** : I DONT WANT TO

**laf** : alex this isn't your fault

**little lion** : it is and I'm sorry

**johnn** : what

**johnn** : this got very worrying very quickly

**laf** : I'm sick and alex thinks it's his fault

**little lion** : THERES A REASON I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF WHEN IM SICK A L O N E

**little lion** : THIS IS WHY

**little lion** : kind of

**laf** : alexander please come out

**little lion** : I just!!! want to be alone

**laf** : please

**little lion** : I will in a little bit I promise

**little lion** : I keep my promises

**laf** : okay

**laf** : if you're not out in an hour I'm coming in to get you

**little lion** : okay

\---

**johnn** : just dug up this alex support group chat from the beach

**johnn** : are you just sitting in the hallway waiting for him to come out

**laf** : YES

**johnn** : I'll get the cough medicine

**laf** : is it not in the bathroom

**johnn** : no alex bought like a whole separate stash of it that he now keeps in his granola bar cabinet

**laf** : of course he did

**laf** : wake hercules up

**johnn** : he doesn't like it when I do it

**laf** : jUST DO IT

**johnn** : FINE

\---

**more like HUNKules** : how many time did you pinch me just a question

**johnn** : YOU WOULDNT WAKE UP SO I HAD TO KEEP TRYING

**more like HUNKules** : I have a ton of little nail marks in my arms

**johnn** : they're not that little,,,

**more like HUNKules** : I know bc your hands are huge

**johnn** : your hands are bigger than mine??

**more like HUNKules** : but I'm eight inches taller than you

**johnn** : fuck you

**laf** : GUYS

**johnn** : right

\---

**johnn** : he's gonna come out in like ten minutes

**laf** : how do you know

**johnn** : bc he's gonna start to feel bad that he's not taking care of you

**laf** : I doubt that

**johnn** : I don't know why he's upset but he loves us more than anything

**laf** : okay but when he saw that I was sick he refused to touch me

**laf** : like he literally got up and locked himself in the bathroom

**johnn** : really

**laf** : yeah he woke up bc I started coughing and then he went "I got you sick" and then I was like "no you didn't" and he like started moving away from me and I tried to stop him but then he left

**johnn** : shit

**laf** : yeah

**johnn** : I still vote that he's gonna come out soon

**laf** : I am not voting with you

**more like HUNKules** : I think he will

**laf** : maybe

\---

**johnn** : there he is

**laf** : he

**laf** : he's been crying

**johnn** : fuck

**laf** : he won't talk to me

**johnn** : the way he just pulled you up off of the floor tho was cute

**laf** : he woNT

**laf** : TALK TO ME

**johnn** : WHAT IS HE DOING THO

**laf** : pulling his vaporizer out of the closet

**johnn** : we jUST ORGANIZED THAT THO

**laf** : WE ARE MOVING IN A MONTH

**johnn** : right right

**laf** : he's,,,,,taking care of me

**laf** : but he still won't talk to me

**johnn** : he looked really sad when he came out of the bathroom

**laf** : he still does

**johnn** : are you gonna let me cuddle you when you're sick

**laf** : I would but I don't think I'm the one in control here

**johnn** : what

**laf** : alex isn't talking to me but he's setting stuff up rn

**johnn** : he hasn't left our room since he went into it??

**laf** : he made me change into softer clothing I love him

**johnn** : and he still isn't talking to you

**laf** : no

**laf** : he did kiss me tho

**laf** : but I think it was just to bribe me to stay in here

**johnn** : I

**johnn** : are you okay??

**laf** : I'm Powerless against all of you we've been over this

**laf** : I give myself entirely to the three you and in return you,,,,kiss me,,,and make me feel like the luckiest person in the world

**johnn** : oh my god

**more like HUNKules** : LAF

**laf** : where have you been

**more like HUNKules** : reading these messages over john's shoulder

**laf** : oh

**more like HUNKules** : you do know that we love you more than anything right

**johnn** : like we're yours babe you can't get rid of us

**laf** : I don't want to

**laf** : and I love you too  
  
**johnn** : oh alexander came out

**johnn** : he just took his entire medicine stash and left

**laf** : he left again

**johnn** : and now he's filling a thing with water

**laf** : vaporizer

**johnn** : right

**laf** : he still hasn't said anything

**laf** : he also just locked the door

**johnn** : oh god

**johnn** : this isn't good is it

**laf** : probably not

\---

**little lion** : I'm not getting either of you sick

**johnn** : you're not even sick anymore love

**little lion** : I got laf sick so if they get you sick it's my fault anyway

**johnn** : you didn't get them sick

**johnn** : it's fall!! people are getting sick that's just what happens!!

**little lion** : but it wouldn't have happened if I didn't get it first

**johnn** : babe

**little lion** : this is not about me

**little lion** : I don't want to make this about me that's why I came out of the bathroom

**johnn** : okay

**little lion** : just let me take care of them please

**johnn** : okay

**little lion** : can you come get our rug when I put it out in the hallway

**johnn** : why are you taking the rug out of our room

**little lion** : the vaporizer will ruin it

**johnn** : I'll get it

**little lion** : thank you

\---

**laf** : it's like a fuckin sauna in here

**more like HUNKules** : it's kind of escaping into the hall but not that much

**laf** : he still won't talk to me

**laf** : and I try to ask him what's wrong but he just shakes his head

**laf** : also he's sitting on the floor in front of the door

**johnn** : :^((( why won't he go and cuddle you

**laf** : I don't know

**laf** : I start coughing and he gets kind of closer and then he looks REALLY SCARED for like ten seconds and backs up

**laf** : I love him

**johnn** : I want to come in and cuddle you :^(((

**laf** : rt

**laf** : you don't want to come in here you'll melt

**johnn:** you're worth it tho

**laf** : aw ily

**johnn** : ily2

**more like HUNKules** : what is gonna do when you have to eat

**laf** : idk how he's gonna know

**laf** : bc he won't fuCKING SPEAK TO ME

**laf** : that made it sound like I'm mad at him I'm not I just want him to talk to me so I can help him

**johnn** : I don't think he wants you to help him

**laf** : but I want to

**johnn** : me too

**more like HUNKules** : rt

**more like HUNKules** : I'm very worried rn it's hard to talk like this

**johnn** : we understand

**more like HUNKules** : sorry

**johnn** : it's fine dear

\---

**little lion** : can either of you go buy me a thermometer

**johnn** : I

**johnn** : yes

**more like HUNKules** : I'll go with you

**johnn** : okay

\---

**more like HUNKules** : sorry I just really don't want to be alone rn but I won't go if you don't want me to

**johnn** : lmao same I was going to ask you to come with me anyway

**more like HUNKules** : okay good

**johnn** : let's go!!

\---

**laf** : and now we are both mostly naked

**laf** : well idk not really alex still has pants on

**laf** : I don't

**more like HUNKules** : wHY

**laf** : well I probably have a fever and alex wants me uncovered

**laf** : again I was bribed

**laf** : and him bc it's so fucking hot in here

**more like HUNKules** : is he still on the floor

**laf** : yeah

**more like HUNKules** : john wants to know what's happening with our floors rn bc apparently humidifiers ruin them???

**laf** : yeah alex put it on a towel on one of our dressers

**more like HUNKules** : okay

**more like HUNKules** : are you okay??

**laf** : yeah my throat hurts and my nose is stuffed up but other than that I'm fine

**laf** : my phone screen keeps getting wet from how much this vaporizer is here

**laf** : and alex just left the room

**laf** : I'm lonely now

**more like HUNKules** : to be fair alex wasn't exactly near you

**laf** : but he was in the room

**more like HUNKules** : we just got to walmart so we'll be home in a little while

**laf** : you're not allowed in my hospital room tho

**more like HUNKules** : :^(((

**laf** : sorry??

**more like HUNKules** : it's fine as long as we know you're being taken care of

**laf** : aw

**laf** : also why did you go to walmart surely there's other places you can go closer to our house

**more like HUNKules** : it's the first place we thought of

**laf** : of course it was

**more like HUNKules** : gotta go shopping love you!!

**laf** : love you too!!

\---

**laf** : oh alex made me food

**laf** : and he is also Powerless against us bc when he set this bowl of soup down on the nightstand I grabbed his hand and asked him to not walk away so he went and closed the door and now he's in bed with me!!

**johnn** : we're coming home now so tell alex to come and get this thermometer

**laf** : he said he will

**laf** : or rather I told him and he nodded

johnn: he still won't talk to you??

**laf** : no

**johnn** : :^(((

**laf** : I'm going to get him to eventually

**johnn** : okay

\---

**little lion** : 101.7

**laf** : that's not that bad is it??

**johnn** : idk

\---

**laf** : he just kissed my forehead I hate him sm I love him

**johnn** : I

\---

**more like HUNKules** : I think they're asleep

**johnn** : I can hear alexander doing something in there

**more like HUNKules** : how

**johnn** : idk I just can hear him walking around

**more like HUNKules** : oh

**little lion** : I'm just turning off the humidifier it's fine

**johnn** : why won't you talk to lafayette

**little lion** : I'm going to sleep now  
  
**johnn** : alex

**little lion** : goodnight

**johnn** : it's twelve in the afternoon

**little lion** : good.

**little lion** : night.

**johnn** : goodnight alexander

\---

**laf** : alex definitely wasn't asleep

**johnn** : are you kidding

**laf** : no he's sitting on the floor again

**laf** : he was like half lying down next to me when I fell asleep but I'm p sure he didn't come back to bed when he turned the humidifier off

**laf** : also I really have to sneeze but I can't and it's starting to frustrate me

**johnn** : I really want to cuddle you right now

**laf** : I know dear

**laf** : I'm gonna try and get alex to talk to me please pray

**johnn** : I will

\---

**little lion** : I know that you guys are probably talking about me

**little lion** : please don't

**little lion** : this is about lafayette

**more like HUNKules** : lafayette is the one you won't talk to

**little lion** : it's

**little lion** : they didn't do anything I promise I love them more than life itself

**laf** : I love you too

**little lion** : but it's,,,,,something

**little lion** : and it's something that I need to deal with and I'm sorry it's just hard

**more like HUNKules** : okay

**little lion** : I really am sorry

**more like HUNKules** : we're not mad at you

**little lion** : okay

\---

**johnn** : WHY ARE YOU YELLING

**johnn** : FOR THE SECOND TIME TODAY

**more like HUNKules** : they're,,,,,arguing,,,,,,with each other,,,,,

**johnn** : what

**more like HUNKules** : they never get mad at each other but we've seen both of them angry and this is what their angry sounds like

**johnn** : fuck

**more like HUNKules** : I don't know how we handle this situation

**johnn** : we've never had to before

**more like HUNKules** : I'm so tired

**johnn** : we have soda in the fridge

**johnn** : it's too late for coffee we'll never sleep

**more like HUNKules** : okay

**johnn** : time to get!! fuckin!! turnt!!

**more like HUNKules** : no

**more like HUNKules** : false

**johnn** : I

**johnn** : time to drink!! soda!! so!! we!! can!! handle!! our!! spouses!! fighting!! for!! like!! literally!! the!! first!! time!! ever!!

**more like HUNKules** : that's more like it

**johnn** : I

\---

**more like HUNKules** : you stopped yelling fifteen minutes ago and nobody has stormed out of the room/house crying so I imagine it's over

**more like HUNKules** : am I allowed to ask what happened

**laf** : I tried to get alex to talk to me

**laf:** and it unfolded into things

**more like HUNKules** : oh no

**laf** : and basically it tired me out all over again so we're both going to sleep gn

**more like HUNKules** : gn

**johnn** : we love you!!

**more like HUNKules** : love you!!

**laf** : we love you too!!

\---

  
**laf** : we are up now

**johnn** : what happened

**johnn** : like I know you said you tried to get alex to talk to you and things unfolded but like how

**johnn** : and also if you don't want to tell me that's fine

**laf** : idk if alexander wants to talk abt this

**little lion** : I'll be fine

**little lion** : I love you all and I trust you

**johnn** : aw <3

**laf** : okay

**laf** : so

**laf** : basically I tried to get alex to talk to me and he wouldn't so I started getting really upset bc I love him and I want him to talk to me and I don't know why he won't

**laf** : and he was like tHIS ISNT YOUR FAULT and I was like !!I know!! but tell me!! please!!

**laf** : and basically alexander said he couldn't tell me and I was like why noT and then we started yelling at each other and then alex said,,,,,something and I was like oh. and I hugged him and he apologized for making this abt him bc apparently he always does that and then we talked abt stuff

**laf** : but that time it was quieter

**laf** : and now we're just lying here cuddling the shit out of each other

**little lion** : you,,,,,could've told them what I said

**laf** : I didn't feel like it was my thing to say

**little lion** : okay

**johnn** : say??? what???

**little lion** : the reason I have to take care of myself alone when I get sick is because yes I have a fear of getting you sick

**little lion** : but the reason I don't like you getting sick or myself getting sick for that matter is bc when I was like really little

**little lion** : not that little actually I was 12

**little lion** : I got really sick

**little lion** : and so did my mom

**little lion** : and we spent a long time dying

**little lion** : and it was so awful and I don't even remember half of it because I was so sick and I was probably going to die but I didn't for a reason I don't know

**little lion** : but my mom did

**little lion** : and I was still sick after she died but I remember her being like pulled from me and just knowing what happened and just kind of Wishing that I was dead but I lived anyway

**little lion** : and that fear of losing the people that I love most in the world kind of always just stayed with me bc it's not necessarily something that just goes away after it's over

**little lion** : and idk

**little lion** : it's like a subcategory of my fear of losing you idk

**johnn** : oh alex

**more like HUNKules** : I'm picking the lock lmao

**little lion** : omg

**johnn** : JESUS CHRIST ITS THE TEMPERATURE OF THE FUCKING SUN IN HERE

**laf** : cold compresses 5ever

**johnn** : I

**johnn** : when did you get those

**little lion** : I got them when you and hercules were crawling around on the floor from your soda regrets

**johnn** : yeah that makes sense

**little lion** : we haven't had dinner yet wait

**johnn** : go to bed alexander

**little lion** : okay

**more like HUNKules** : tbh I think we all need to sleep

**little lion** : we just woke up

**more like HUNKules** : did I stutter

**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,woW

\---

**little lion** : no but seriously I'm so sorry I didn't talk to lafayette all day

**johnn** : why wouldn't you

**little lion** : right I never really explained that

**little lion** : idk I just didn't want to talk

**little lion** : like in the morning I blamed myself for it and I just kind of convinced myself that this was the same thing and that they were sick bc of me and that,,,,it's a lot,,,but I'm still really sorry

**little lion** : and then after I came out of the bathroom I knew they were going to bring up something that would've made me upset even tho they \didn't know that it would have made me upset so I just kept my mouth shut

**johnn** : :^(((

**little lion** : as for why I didn't sleep next to them

**little lion** : I would convince myself that it wouldn't be the same thing as sleeping next to my mother when she was dying bc this is lafayette and they aren't dying so I would get closer

**little lion** : and then I'd start remembering stuff I tried really hard to forget

**little lion** : so I wouldn't do it

**johnn** : oh alex

**little lion** : it's fine it's fine we love you

**little lion** : TODAY WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME

**johnn** : it was about laf and you

**johnn** : co-ownership

**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,4/10

**laf** : omg coME ON WE HAVE TO SLEEP

**little lion** : technically you have to take your medicine

**laf** : ,,,,,,,,give it to me

\---

**laf** : nOW we have to sleep

**little lion** : goodnight I love you so much

**laf** : I love you too tf come and cuddle me

**little lion** : I'm right next to you

**laf** : I know but you're cuddling john who is not sick and not me who is but not bc of you

**johnn** : don't be jealous

**laf** : I'm not I just want to be hugged and I'm on an end so there's nobody on the other side of me to do it

**johnn** : aw

**little lion** : are you okay to sleep now??

**laf** : perfect

**little lion** : good

**laf** : I love you alex

**little lion** : I love you too

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this on impulse at 1 am and cried twice while doing so
> 
> also lmao I'm not saying that I couldn't,,,,,,,think of a good title,,,,,,,but,,,,,


End file.
